Dallas County, Dallas, Texas
John B. spent two and a half years behind bars while he awaited a jury trial.
I've been here for 23 months and sixteen days. What do I want people to know most about being held here waiting for trial? It's frustrating, it's hard on your family. It hurts a lot to see my daughters to come see me through a glass and to ask me every time when I am coming home, and can I buy them some chips and candy. It hurts to know that I can’t do anything for them. I can’t protect them or guide them or provide for them. I don’t care how strong you are, it hurts very much to be away from your daughters when they need a father more than anything. It's hard on them with no one out there to watch over them as a father would. You will go insane if you don't keep yourself sane.
Any person… should think a long, long time before he or she votes to have other men kept behind bars – caged. I am not saying there shouldn’t be jails or prisons, but there shouldn’t be bars. Behind bars, a man never reforms. He will never forget. He never will get completely over the memory of the bars.
After he gets out, his mind tries to erase the experience, but he can't. If you have talked with numerous former convicts, it will be very interesting for you to find that all of their minds had blotted away many details of years in prison. But in every case, he will tell you that he can't forget those bars or steel doors.
It’s like you’re off in a jungle -- you don’t know who or what you can trust.
If I could change something, I would like to tackle the abuses done by the SRTs [Special Response Teams] and DSOs [Detention Service Officers.] They love to beat people up while they have them restrained or when they are in handcuffs. It happens a lot that they beat these people up quite bad even when the inmate is not fighting back.
Sharing my story might not make it more safe for myself, but I would like to make it safe for someone else. Hopefully the cycle will be broken one day.
Thanks for not just seeing me as a bad guy, but as flesh and blood person; not as a hunk of meat without any human qualities.